A Bouncer Threw Me Out While I Was Unconscious… I Woke Up In the ER
- By: Amanda Coscarelli
This story has been submitted by a LOOP reader…
It was supposed to be a casual night out. Early 2000s Night in Hollywood. The plan was to have a few drinks, dance to songs my middle school self could only imagine hearing at the club, and make some unforgettable memories. Two truths and a lie.
Unfortunately I don’t remember any of it. The first few events of the night are blurry at best, and the rest of it is only a recap from my friends– like they were filling me in on the end of a movie I’d never finished.
The night started innocently. I had on a fresh new fit (early 2000s themed: a short sleeve flannel over a graphic tee and my brand new Levi’s) and when my girlfriend picked me up, we responsibly decided to get pizza so we weren’t drinking on empty stomachs. Little did I know then that that would be the last time I ate that particular pizza, cause it would soon be ruined for me forever.
Before we went into the club, we pregamed a little bit in the parking lot. A couple of Buzzballs at most. But let me preface this by saying I’m not a dancer. So when we got inside and the music was pumping, I decided I needed a little bit of extra confidence. My friends were singing Pitbull at the top of their lungs and I just wasn’t there yet. So I did the rational thing and walked up to the bar and ordered myself a long island iced tea.
TIP #1: BEWARE OF LONG ISLAND ICED TEA
This was where the night started to go downhill. But before it all came crashing down, I was riding a high. For those who aren’t familiar with long island iced tea, it’s a dangerous concoction of vodka, gin, rum tequila and triple sec. My advice is to start with one of these guys and then take it easy while the feeling builds. I started drinking it as the Buzzballs were starting to kick in, and when I got to the bottom, I was dancing. I was singing, too. Then my friend ordered a round of tequila shots, plus a vodka shot for my friend who doesn’t do tequila after learning a lesson of her own.
Before it all came crashing down, I was riding a high.
Some time after that first shot, my memory goes blank. But here’s what my friends told me. Someone ordered a second round of tequila shots, because it was their turn to buy and they didn’t want to cheap out. But they forgot to order one with vodka, so we had an extra. I took that one down the hatch and that’s when they started to worry. My friends know me well and knew that it was unlike me to drink so recklessly. Two of them immediately ran to get a cup of water and when they got back, I couldn’t hold my head up. They lifted it and tried to pour water into my mouth, but it was too late. Suddenly, my legs gave out and I went down like a tree. All 6 feet and 2 inches of me collapsed to the ground and my friends couldn’t get me back up.
TIP #2: THE BOUNCERS DON’T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT
A bouncer, who had been keeping an eye on us after the first round of shots, noticed almost immediately. He told us we had to leave but my friends couldn’t wake me up. My eyes were closed and I was unresponsive. The bouncer didn’t care. He just wanted us out. So he got a couple of extra hands from security and they all carried me out to the sidewalk. They tossed me crookedly into a metal folding chair and checked for a pulse. I was alive, at least.
My friends pulled the car up to the curb and the security guards lifted me into the back seat. Then, everyone pulled their drunk selves together and managed to drive us home without getting pulled over— can you imagine the cops pulling up and seeing a drunk driver, empty Buzzballs in the cupholders and a guy passed out in the backseat? I was safe, but the pizza didn’t make it. I was covered in my own vomit, still unresponsive.
TIP #3: HAVE FRIENDS YOU CAN TRUST
I have the best friends in the world. It took all four of them, one at each leg, one in the middle and one at my head, but they eventually lifted me a few inches off the ground and managed to drag me from the car to the couch, a couple hundred feet away. I started to wake up, as they recall, but I didn’t know where I was. And worst of all, I didn’t know who they were— not even my girlfriend. I was terrified, confused and kept asking to go home. Except I already was.
My friends did the right thing and called the paramedics— a ride share I’m still paying for— and when a guy holding a flashlight in my eyes asked if I knew where I was, I kept saying we were still Hollywood. 20 miles away.
I started to wake up, but I didn't know where I was.
When I woke up in the emergency room a couple of hours later, I almost passed out again from the shock. I had an IV in my arm, regurgitated cheese all over my new Levi’s and no idea what happened. As I regained consciousness, I learned that my friends were all posted up in the waiting room, spending their Sunday morning at the hospital. We’d missed most of the Early 2000’s Night and although it was a night they’ll never forget, I knew I’d ruined it. In the name of having a good time, I completely overdid it and it backfired.
One thing I know for sure is that I’ll never drink that much again. I’ll also never mix so many different types of alcohol. The truth is, my friends never cared that much if I danced or not. They just wanted to enjoy time together. While drinks can contribute to a night out in moderation, it’s important to be responsible, and never drink to do something that makes you uncomfortable. For the foreseeable future, I’m sober-curious, and I’m seriously never eating that pizza again, but I can definitely still get down with the occasional long island iced tea.
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