The “Me Too” Chill Factor

Let’s address the elephant in the room, the post-#MeToo pause. Understandably, the movement made a lot of men second-guess in-person advances. Consent became a conversation (as it should), but flirtation took a hit.

According to guy friends I chatted with about this over beers, some guys started to fear that any approach, no matter how polite, could be seen as creepy. The pendulum swung from aggressive pick-up lines to…nothing at all. A generation raised on “negging” and “PUA tactics” had to unlearn everything at once, and many just froze.

As a result, nightlife started feeling like parallel play. Girls dancing with girls. Guys huddled in VIP texting other girls. Everyone performing for their phones instead of each other.

We got safer, but lonelier.

Hot Take: COVID-19 Made Us Weird

Those two years inside did something to us. We forgot how to small talk. How to read body language. How to flirt without a filter. We came back outside with our social skills in a coma and our anxiety dialed up to 11.

Now, when someone does approach me in a club, it’s either unhinged (think: overly confident crypto bro) or awkward enough to make me miss lockdown. We are collectively weird now, and it shows.

So… Is There Still Love in the Club?

Yes. But you have to squint to see it.

Love in the club used to be about the fantasy. You went out hoping something might happen, a spark, a kiss, a “can I call you sometime?” that led to brunch, then eventually wedding bells. It was messy and sweaty and often unsuccessful. But it was alive.

Now, it feels like we go out for the content. The vibes. The outfit pics. The group chat recaps. Somewhere along the way, the pursuit of love, or even lust, got replaced by a desire for attention and aesthetic.

But maybe that’s changing.

Lately, I’ve been seeing glimmers. A hot guy offering to buy me a drink. A spontaneous dance-off. A smile that lingers longer than it should. It’s not extinct, it’s just… rare.

What Can We Do About It?

Let’s romanticize going out again. Let’s reintroduce a little risk, a little awkwardness, and a lot more eye contact.

• Leave the apps at home.
  Challenge yourself (and your friends) to go one night out without checking Hinge. If you’re going to look for love, at least look up from your screen.
• Say hi first.
  Whether you’re into someone or just think they look cool, say something. Even if it’s clumsy. Even if it’s just a smile. We’ve all become so guarded, lowering the walls even a little opens doors.
• Be curious, not creepy.
  Flirting doesn’t have to mean hitting on someone. Ask them what they’re drinking. Compliment their shoes. Say, “I love this song, don’t you?” Keep it low-stakes and kind. If it’s mutual, you’ll feel it.
• Bring back the wingman.
  We’ve gone solo for too long. Bring your friends into it. Encourage them to hype you up, initiate intros, or help make the vibe less intimidating. Sometimes the best connections come from group energy.
• Focus on vibes, not just views.
  Stop performing. Start participating. Dance. Laugh. Be present. The real magic always happens in moments you’re not trying to post.

Final Thoughts

We don’t need to go back to the old club culture of creepy corner guys and sloppy makeouts (unless you’re into that, no judgment, we’ve all been there). But we do need to reawaken that sense of serendipity. The beauty of real-world romance is that you don’t know when or how it’ll happen.

The apps might make dating more efficient, but they’ll never be as fun as catching someone’s eye under a disco ball, dancing to a song you both love, and thinking: maybe this could be something.

So next time you’re out, put down the phone. Make the first move. And remember: love might still be in the club. You just have to give it a reason to show up.